Decided…

It’s hard when you’re stuck in a state where it has become glaringly obvious to yourself that you don’t belong in the condition you’re in, realizing that you have so much more potential than where you currently are. This can make you feel embarrassed, ashamed and even humiliated to “discover” yourself in that condition. 

To decide that you want a change or that you are in need of change is to also admit that you are not currently in a good place or where you want to be.

For example, a homeless man roams the street night and day, blaming and justifying all the while with “reasons” why he is there in that condition. His mind is fixed on all the things that have been “done to him,” so much so that he can’t see how dirty his clothes are, that he’s sleeping on cardboard and eating out of trash bins. And if does “look” at all, he only sees that someone else has caused those things (not him) and so therefore he is not responsible, and is not really his condition. The dirty clothes and cardboard house are not his, but caused by or because of “someone else.”

However the moment, he begins to open his eyes and look around a bit, and see that it is only him there. He takes a peak at his dirty rags and fingernails, the ants crawling over his trash bin meal, his swollen foot and worn down shoes and says “I can’t live like this anymore, I need to find a way out.” And suddenly he decides “I’ve got to figure this out, I’ve got to get myself out of this condition.” He goes on to say, “I don’t know how I am going to do it, but I’ve got to figure this out, I’ve got to keep trying until I make it.”

The moment he has decided he is in need of change, is the same moment where he has also realized there is something wrong with his current condition and he becomes ashamed. He suddenly sees that his clothes are black and soiled with filth, unwashed for weeks and months, his fingernails torn and dirty, his body tired and fatigued from the wear and tear of living on the streets day in and day out. He suddenly becomes aware of all these things, and now he walks the streets humiliated. Humiliated that he should be in that condition. Other “normal” people stare and look at him as “that dirty and helpless” homeless man. But in his mind, with his new self-awareness, he says to himself – but I am not that, I am getting out! I wish I could show them all right now just who and what I really am! I am worth so much more than this, I am capable of doing so much!”

And on and on he goes, with his firm decision set and not changed, he perseveres forward, determined to make his life anew… he must set aside his feelings of shame and humiliation and move forward, because that is the only way. It takes a sort of “swallowing of pride” to continue to “show face” and not run away and hide (back into his cardboard home).

So he perseveres, he continues. And he starts to imagine himself in his ideal state – of where he wants to be and not where he is. He starts to imagine himself in a nice home near the water, with clean clothes and fingernails, a refrigerator full of food, a wife and a friendly dog that is his new best friend. These images make him feel happy and content and bring him peace.

He begins to focus his attention on these images, his new ideal life to be, each day, several times a day and throughout the day. His attention is no longer fixed on the dirt beneath his fingernails or his cardboard home– because he knows he’s getting out, he knows where he is going now (in the future) because he has decided.

He no longer pays any attention to the stares and looks of pity from the “regular” people passing by and is not bothered by this anymore. For his attention is firmly focused on the new life he has now created with the pictures in his mind (imagination), with full knowingness that he will get there one day soon. He imagines himself there with so much pleasure – kissing his new wife, walking along the beach and swimming with his new dog, traveling to new parts of the country in the best shoes… These images bring him so much joy as he imagines himself already there!

He does not imagine these things “wishing” that they would occur, nor does he look upon himself and his condition with pity or despair anymore… for he is getting out! He has decided.

For he has decided that he will get there one day. He does not know when yet or exactly how, but he has decided that he will get there. He continues to imagine himself with full joy as if already in receipt of those things and is grateful for them.

With his attention continuing to be focused on his new ideal life (but all the while still homeless and in dirty clothes and shoes, living in a cardboard home), he starts to look around newly and sees that there are some things he can do…

He recalls a homeless shelter not too far from where he is, and remembers that they offered clothes and shoes. He goes there and picks out fresh clothes and shoes for himself. He is also given a bar of soap. Although there are no showers at the shelter, he recalls there are public restrooms at a local park and goes there to clean himself up as much as possible. 

He washes his face and hair with the bar of soap and water available, he scrubs his hands, arms and nails. He washes his feet and legs.

He puts on his fresh pair of clothes and shoes and starts to walk the street.

He suddenly realizes that he has no clean place to sleep that night and gets an idea…

He returns to the homeless shelter, now cleaned up with untattered clothes, and asks if he can help work in exchange for a clean bed and meals. It turns out the shelter had been low on volunteers and needs the help!

And thus began his new job…

All the while he continued to focus his attention on the images of his ideal life… near the ocean with his new wife and dog and worldly travels… smiling to himself, knowing that he would be there soon…

One day while working in the kitchen, a delivery driver appeared at the back door to drop off the week’s shipment. The man rushed to help him unload the boxes. The delivery man was so impressed by his eagerness to help and ability to unload the heavy boxes, he asked him if he was looking for work.

The name written on that delivery truck was “World Produce Direct.” The man took the job and worked hard, all the while still holding to his visions of his ideal life, knowing that each day he was getting closer... 

Years later, he found himself traveling the world as a sales representative for “World Produce Direct” and later on met his soon-to-be wife. As you may have guessed, they were soon married and found a home near the ocean, not unlike the one he imagined all that time. They got a dog named Oliver who liked to swim.

The man continued to travel as a representative for World Produce Direct,” and not long after became a business partner. 

One day while walking near his home with his dog, he remembered where he had been years ago with his broken shoes and dirty fingernails and cardboard home, and he recalled the decision that he had made, with full determination, to turn his life around.

He had come a long way, and realized that he had met his visions, that they were now a reality.

So what next? He recalled that he had always wanted to climb Mt. Everest but had never rock climbed before…

And so he decided.. And thus started his new visions! 

***

So when you decide (really decide, that is decide “for real”) that you want to quit smoking, just keep the above story in mind. And make the decision to persist no matter what.

When you decide, you may suddenly find that you are more uncomfortable with your surroundings, with where you are at in life. This is simply the manifestation of you deciding that your current habit of smoking is “wrong” and you are uncomfortable because you are still in it. The solution is to just focus on what you have now decided to be “right”  – the images of your new ideal life as a happy nonsmoker – so that you may now move in that direction. (Just “keep your eye on the prize” as the saying goes.)

But this also means that you would need to create the images! So what is your ideal life as a happy nonsmoker? What does it look like (what do those images look like)? 

***

SO, have you decided?

Hint: It is not necessary to set a “quit date” or to even know how you are going to stop smoking exactly, just decide that you are going to do it, that it will get done, that you will persist no matter how long it takes! And start!

Just Believe…

I remember when I was a smoker. I smoked about a pack a day year after year, for years, and found it nearly impossible to imagine my life as a nonsmoker. Smoking was a part of me, a large part of my life, and so the thought of not smoking made me feel incomplete, as if I would lose a part of myself if I couldn’t be a smoker. However I knew I had to quit, but I saw no way out and I just couldn’t imagine how I would be able to do anything without a cigarette, I just couldn’t imagine it.

My life revolved around when I could have my next cigarette. I smoked in the morning while getting ready for work, while driving, while reading or studying, while watching films or TV, during work breaks, with friends and bascially before and after any significant or insignificant task…

As you can imagine, my life was controlled by nicotine — including my mind. It seemed every other thought was “How can I quit?” but at the same time “When can I have my next cigarette?” I was in a hamster wheel, spinning and spinning, and going nowhere.

Regardless of my fears, I knew that I had to quit.

However, I kept facing the idea that it was “impossible” for me because I just couldn’t see a way out and I simply couldn’t believe that I could successfully quit smoking. It just didn’t seem real to me that I could be happy as a nonsmoker and successfully stay free from nicotine.

One day, I had a realization. I started thinking about people that I knew who had successfully quit smoking. And I thought to myself — “Well if they could quit, then certainly it is possible to quit smoking!”

At that moment, I realized that it was not necessary for me to believe that I could quit, but only to first believe that it is possible at all!

IT IS POSSIBLE TO QUIT SMOKING!

And it is not necessary to believe that you can do it at first, it is only necessary to believe, to know that it is possible to quit smoking.

Take the first step — believe that it is possible to quit smoking!

“If you believe that it’s going to work out then you will start to see opportunities if you don’t then you will see obstacles.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

Hint:
1. Name 5 people you know (friends, family members or even celebrities) that have successfully quit smoking.